Round Here
by Rhiannon10
Summary: 1x2x1 songfic to "Round Here" by the Counting Crows. Vidfic, extremely depressing... but hopefully it'll make you think. Further notes in fic.


Round Here  
  
Rating: PG-13 Summary/Warnings: 1x2x1, suicide, VIDFIC, many flashbacks Notes: Another one that was hiding in my notebook. I don't even remember when I wrote this... ::sigh:: Anyways, I'm trying something kinda different with this fic. I'm going for extreme detail and description here. If it's too much, just let me know.  
  
//Step out the front door like a ghost into the fog  
  
Where no one notices the contrast of white on white//  
  
[The worn, faded white door of an old farmhouse swings open, revealing Heero. He is wearing a white T-shirt and black jeans. He steps onto the wooden front porch and hurries down the steps, ignoring the fog and rain. He is quickly obscured by both the night and the fog.]  
  
//And in between the moon and you, angels get a better view  
  
Of the crumbling difference between wrong and right//  
  
[Shot of the moon breaking through the clouds. Flashback: the farmhouse. Heero and Duo are sprawled on the blue shingle roof, looking up at the nighttime sky. Heero's head is resting on Duo's chest, and his fingers are woven into Duo's braid, which he's pulled across his chest.]  
  
//And I walk in the air, between the rain  
  
Through myself and back again- where, I don't know//  
  
[Time literally freezes as Heero comes even with a black wrought iron fence- the rain frozen in it's descent, the moon halfway behind a cloud. Heero walks on, oblivious. He runs his left hand along the bars of the fence at his side.]  
  
//Maria says she's dying, through the door I hear her crying  
  
Why- I don't know//  
  
[Flashback: the house. Heero is peering through a crack in the door of a room. Cut to his POV as he pushes the door open slightly. Duo is sitting on the floor, his back against the bed, sobbing. A student lamp sits on a desk, filling the room with a yellow warmth. A streak of lightning flashes in the window above Duo's head.]  
  
//Round here- we always stand up straight  
  
Round here- something radiates//  
  
[Flashback: summer, a street in a small town. Heero are walking together, holding hands, talking, looking relaxed. Sudden cut to a priest across the street from them, glaring at the boys.]  
  
//Maria came from Nashville with a suitcase in her hand  
  
She says she'd like to meet a boy who looks like Elvis//  
  
[Flashback: the house, daytime. Heero opens the front door to find Duo standing outside, grinning like the devil. He is wearing a dark red T-shirt and black pants, and he fiddles with the handle of the black suitcase beside him. Heero stares for a second, then opens the door wider and steps outside. Duo grabs him and they hug.]  
  
//She walks along the edge of where the ocean meets the land  
  
Just like she's walking on a wire in the circus//  
  
[Flashback: a beach, nearing sunset. Quatre and Heero are sitting on a blanket, both in swimming trunks and t-shirts. Cut to a shot behind their heads- Trowa is doing a handstand at the shoreline, and Duo is attempting to knock him over by tickling him. Trowa falls into the water, and chases Duo back up the beach. Cut back to original shot- Duo races up to the blanket and dives for the safety of Heero's arms. Laughing, Heero catches him.]  
  
//She parks her car outside my house and takes her clothes off  
  
She says she's close to understanding Jesus//  
  
[Flashback: the house. Duo enters the bedroom, his black clothes soaking wet. Heero, who is sprawled on the bed, half-sits, but Duo crosses the room and pushes him back down. Heero twines his fingers through the chain of Duo's cross as they kiss, and the camera slowly moves over to the window. Rain runs down the windowpane, and outside a black car is visible, parked hapazardly across the yard.]  
  
//And she knows she's more than just a little misunderstood  
  
She has trouble acting normal when she's nervous//  
  
[Flashback: the town, daytime. Duo is walking down the street, his shoulders hunched. He passes in front of a church, where the priest is standing. Duo senses the man's angry gaze on him and walks faster.]  
  
//Round here we're carving out our names  
  
Round here we all look the same//  
  
[Flashback: the backyard of the house, daytime. Heero is laying with his head in Duo's lap as Duo carves "HY+DM forever" into the tree they're seated beside. Cut to an outside church bulletin board. The sign proclaims that today's sermon is on crimes against nature.]  
  
//Round here we talk just like lions, but we sacrifice like lambs//  
  
[Flashback: the bathroom of the house. Duo is sitting on the floor, his hands folded over his chest. It appears that he is praying. Above his head on the counter are several envelopes. One says, "Heero". Another, crumpled, is barely legible as "Sister Helen". Cut to Duo's POV as he lowers his hands. Blood runs from his wrists onto his pants and the floor.]  
  
//Round here, she's slipping through my hands//  
  
[Shot of Heero's hand grabbing Duo's blood-soaked one for an instant, then Duo's hand is jerked away.]  
  
//Sleeping children better run like the wind, outta the lightning dream  
  
Mama's little baby better get herself in outta the lightning//  
  
[Heero pushes open a black wrought iron gate. Pan up to a sign above the gate that says 'Cemetery'. The sign is bisected by a frozen streak of lightning.]  
  
//She said it's only in my head  
  
She said, shh, I know, it's only in my head//  
  
[Flashback: the bedroom, nighttime. Heero and Duo are sitting on the bed, facing each other. A broken crucifix sits on the bed to Heero's left. Heero looks worried as he holds Duo's hands, one of which is scratched, in his lap. Duo smiles sadly and taps the side of his head. Heero starts to reply, but Duo reaches over and places two fingers over his mouth. Duo shakes his head.]  
  
//But the girl in the car in the parking lot says man, you should try to take a shot  
  
Can't you see my walls are crumbling?//  
  
[Flashback: a parking lot in the town, daytime. Duo gets into his car quickly and slams the door behind him. As he starts the car, the priest walks up to the car and shouts at him. Duo drives off fast. Shot of the church bulletin board. The sermon this time is on punishment and Hell.]  
  
//And she looks up at the building, says she's thinking of jumping  
  
She says she's tired of life  
  
She must be tired of something//  
  
[Flashback: the roof of the house, night. Duo stands on the very edge, heels balanced on the gutter, facing the window. His black clothes appear wet, and blood drips from his wrists. Heero climbs out the window after him, and scrambles across the roof. He grabs Duo's hand just as Duo leans backwards, falling off the third story drop.]  
  
//Round here, she's always on my mind  
  
Round here, hey man, got lots of time//  
  
[Heero drops to his knees before a gravestone. He bows his head, and a crumpled photograph falls from his right hand. Time resumes it's normal pace.]  
  
//Round here we're never sent to bed early, and nobody make us wait  
  
Round here we stay up very, very, very, very late//  
  
[The photo is of Heero and Duo on a couch, Heero's arm across Duo's shoulders, Duo's head on Heero's chest. They're both smiling. Raindrops fall onto the photo. Cut back to Heero. He covers his face with his hands. Twined around one hand is a golden chain with a cross.]  
  
//I can't see nothing, nothing round here  
  
Won't you catch me if I'm falling, won't you catch me if I'm falling, won't you catch me if I'm falling down on you//  
  
[Flashback: the back stone patio of the house, night. Heero is cradling Duo's bloody body in his arms, rocking slowly. Duo mouths 'love you' and pulls Heero's hand onto the cross around his neck, then closes his eyes. Heero stares, shakes Duo slightly, then pulls Duo's body against his chest, sobbing. He buries his face in Duo's neck, rocking back and forth on his knees.]  
  
//See I'm under the gun round here  
  
Oh man, I said I'm under the gun, round here  
  
And I can't see nothing, nothing. . . round here//  
  
[Heero rests his head against the headstone as the camera pans down across the inscription: Duo Maxwell- Soldier, Friend, Beloved. His Soul is at Peace.]  
  
Notes: Hell, that got changed a lot from notebook to computer. Ok, this is kinda confusing, but basically I had Duo much more Catholic in this than he's portrayed in the series and most fanfiction. After the war, he and Heero moved to a small town on the coast. The local Catholic priest started harassing them, causing Duo to question whether his relationship with Heero was alright. He couldn't reconcile his Catholicism and homosexuality, in addition to depression and guilt from the war.  
  
I'd like to point I'm Catholic (in name only, at this point.). The Catholic church's position on gay rights infuriates me to no end- it's one of the sticking points regarding my severe dislike of the whole organization. (There are other, much more personal reasons I won't go into.) Recently, the Vatican decided that the best way to deal with last year's abuse scandals was to blame the media and try to ban gays from joining seminaries. It's best to just say I was a smidgen pissed. Anyway, I have a whole long massive rant against the Catholic Church on this subject that I might post on the new original fiction site. For the moment, if you'd like to read, let me know in a review and I'll e-mail it to you.  
  
::sigh:: End of fic and notes. 


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